has been the major attraction for the 1st graders in the child’s school this year. The exhilaration of having money to call one’s own, the opportunity to eat any sort of junk without adult interference (although the teacher keeps a general eye), and mainly, a step to independence – there is much importance attached to being able to go up to a shopkeeper and ask for what you want.

When the child told me about the shop last year, I offered him money but was refused. Almost at the end of the school year though, something mango (maybe a kulfi) has overcome the lack of confidence barrier. The child has finally asked for money so he can buy it.

Not that there are no doubts. The people in the tuck shop are not very clear speaking and the child is worried he won’t understand what they say. In that case, I told him, just give them the 100/- note – that should cover it. And then there was the next problem, “What if they cheat me?” Ideally I should have assured the child that the school is a trustworthy place but both he and I are extremely cynical (and astonishingly naive at times!).  So I merely told him that he will get cheated twice or thrice, but will ultimately wise up.

The only instruction I did give was that the child not lose any money. But even if he does, there is no call to refuse to trust him again. His acute mortification will be punishment enough.

Along the way, I am realizing that there as yet exists a vein of trust. I do not often allow the child ice cream, and since he has been consistently ill since November, it has been a good 4 months without the treat. And despite some whining when we cross an ice cream shop, the child has not protested too much. But knowing that I will disapprove, he still volunteered that he would eat the kulfi.

And because the child took a big risk in telling me the truth – I did not tell him to stay away from the cold stuff and merely handed over the money. Not interfering is something that is hard for me but I am learning it.

Essential I think if I have to keep the child communicating. Already, he has told me that when I scold him what he hears is me saying that he is no good and that I am better than him! Not even close to what I meant obviously, but if that is what he is hearing, I have no option but to rethink much of what I usually say.

So carefully I tread, cautiously testing the waters, putting aside some of my inherent impetuousness and using quieter words, lots more of them, so that the child hears what I want him to.

Meanwhile the tuck shop awaits. Today the child came back because he did not have the exact change – I think he is confused between plastic and real money. Will tomorrow be the day the child buys what he wants? And will the treat be as good as the anticipation?

I wait for the next installment in this story!